First Christmas As Three

This Christmas was our first as parents. Last year, I was pretty well into my pregnancy (about 30 some odd weeks), but while Kyrie was present, this was his first outside of the womb. Anyway, it came and went quickly. Kyrie was more interested in playing with the bulbs on the tree than opening presents and my husband was preoccupied with starting breakfast. I am the one who really loves Christmas, so you can imagine how all this had me feeling.🤣 But in the midst of all that, I realize now how blessed I am. I have everything I ever asked for from the Lord. We even had gifts for our son under that tree (shout out to the grandparents, y'all the real MVPs on that one).

This year has been one of firsts and it's been one of shaking and change in my world, but it's been beautiful, even in the midst if some struggles. I have grown as a woman and I'm ever growing as a mom. This by far is the hardest, most rewarding thing I've ever undertaken. My son's energy and joy inspire me (and reminds me I'm 35 sometimes, LOL). I am so thankful for this life I live by faith. Happy Holidays to you and blessings.

Extra! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

As a new parent, I know some veteran parents may think I'm "extra". Extra protective, extra particular about who my child is around, extra concerned about his diet, maybe even extra concerned about how he looks when he leaves the house. To that, I say, hindsight is 20/20, but all but the last thing on that list can have long term effects on my child. How do I know? Because of my own experiences as a child.

I was molested and exposed to pornography around the age of 3 or 4. It was by older kids and we didn't have adult supervision. Our parents/guardians would send us off to play, not knowing we were repeatedly being exposed to graphic images and being forced to reenact them. Then, I was threatened with harm if I told anyone.

I know as a Christian, I should not operate in fear. However, I think being conscious of who my child is around and yes, not letting any and everyone handle my baby is not fear (or acting funny), but wisdom in my opinion. There are so many children who never had the horrible experiences I did. I'm just trying to make sure the cycle is broken with my children, in every way possible. Abuse/molestation was generational is my family.

At the end of the day, I know I can't protect my child from everything. However, I have to use hard earned wisdom or I'd be a fool. I do not operate under the assumption that family or close family friends are safe. I wish I could, but abusers are often people your child knows well and trusts. So that means, I do not discriminate. I'm particular with EVERY. ONE.

What is my point? Your child is your child. God gave them to you to instruct, protect, and rear into responsible, God-fearing people. People will judge and misunderstand you ALL. DAY. LONG. Could you be extra? Maybe. But you are your child's parent, those people are not. You are responsible for your child's well-being, they are not. There is no manual, but life teaches lessons and each parent has to learn theirs. You do what you are comfortable with as a parent. I am learning to stand on that each day. Blessings!

Parenting and Providing

I have been musing on some things lately and one thing which clicked for me is that there is a difference between being a good parent and being a good provider. Ideally, I want to be both one day.

Walk with me through this concept for a minute - for example, if a father works hard every day, so much so he's never  there to say more than a few things to his children, doesn't make time to be there for any major (or minor events for that matter), but his children have the best of everything (clothing, food, education, toys, opportunities)- by many standards, he would be considered a good parent. All of his child's essential needs were more than met, they were exceeded! Right?

Let me flip that for a second: now, you have a father who is barely getting by financially, he also works hard. His kids get their clothes as hand me downs or if they are new, it may not necessarily be name brand. However, he is there to put them to bed most nights and since he can't afford to put his kids into organized sports, he takes them to the park or local rec center for games or to hang out with friends.

One is unequivocally a good provider, but the other demonstrates being a parent - being there, physically, emotionally, mentally. I am not a parent yet, but I was someone's child. If you give your child everything BUT you - your time, love, wisdom - you may be a great provider, but does that equate to good parenting? I would argue no.

There are so many broken people in this world with issues that others can't figure out. And not always visibly broken, but lacking confidence, the ability to connect, seeking affection and love in the wrong places... How many came from good providers who interpreted that as good parenting? Just something I've been musing on.