Lessons Learned in Friendship

I have had the opportunity in the last few weeks to spend time with some childhood friends who I haven't seen in forever, as well as just have some "girlfriend" time with people I see often (church, etc.), but not really any one-on-one time. It's been great and it has also reminded me that I need to take that time. Over the years, I have learned SO much from the friends I've been blessed to have - whether it was a season or my lifetime buddies. Some of those lessons have been hard ones, but I have tried to take those hard lessons and learn from them so that I can be a better friend next time.

I'll refer to one hard lesson that changed my whole approach to friendship - it was my senior year of college and I got a car! I had told my close girlfriends, if they ever needed a ride, to call me. I understood what it was to not have a car and now that I had wheels, we were all going to be rolling! Well, senior year was really stressful too, for obvious reasons. On one particular day, I think I had a paper due or some project and I was dead-set on not being interrupted and being selfish with my time to get the work done. One of my friends needed a ride, she was stranded. I didn't realize it was raining (I think I was in the library) and she called needing a ride. I think I told her something about being too busy or being in the middle of something, or whatever. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember how it hurt her.

She ended up calling another friend who at least walked with her in the rain. I didn't realize how upset she was with me about it until she blew up at me one day. She cried (and this friend was not one to just cry). She felt abandoned. I had told her I would be there if she needed me and I wasn't when I could have been. It crushed me that I had hurt my friend, who I loved as a younger sister like that. I had let her down. I had been so stuck on what I needed to get done (which in the grand scheme of things, wasn't that serious), I was blinded to the needs of another. Realistically, it would have only taken me 15 mins round trip probably to get her. She forgave me, but stuff never felt the same. It had been deeper than the ride and I knew it. That mistake has empowered me to do better. Sometimes, it's as simple as just being there. 

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 True friendship is not selfish. It's love, it's 1 Corinthians 13. That's not limited to romantic relationships, love is life - it encompasses everything. True friendship is honest. Sometimes it's telling your friend telling you that a relationship is going to blow up in your face (oh and she was right) and it's being humble enough to take that hit because again, it should come from a foundation of love. True friendship is brotherhood/sisterhood without all the baggage that can sometimes come with biological family. I have learned how to cook things, how to navigate a growing relationship (with my now husband), and I was even brought to the church where I got saved, by a friend. I have learned things to emulate in my Christian walk, I have gotten great advice, and been utterly amazed by the lives of some of my friends. I have been hurt and healing has taken place through my friendships. I have been truly blessed by my friendships some with people I've known since birth, the awkward tween years, and others who I've met only in the last 6 years.    Love you all!