Saved 11/08, lover of Jesus, embracer of quirks, apt to laugh, and thinker of deep thoughts. This is my reconstruction - God holds all the pieces to my puzzle.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
In My Opinion: The New Racism is the Old Racism
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Rough Edges and Movements of God
Hi! This is the first bit of new content I've posted in awhile. There's been a lot going on in my life - good things, but it has not been without challenges!
So, let's start from the beginning - my husband and I bought a house in October. It needed renovations and those began later that month. We thought we'd be in the house by Christmas. Not so much. We were in by January. The adventures in home ownership didn't end there. I read something this morning from Heather Lindsey that to paraphrase, said things get rough when God is about to bless you. You'll be challenged.
True words. The house had been vacant for some time, so there were citations and stuff that would have added up to about $1,000. Money we didn't have after buying a house. But God! People were kind who didn't have to be and only about $100 ended up coming out of my pockets when it was said and done. Then there was the running out of heating oil, replacing things in the old house... yet God did it all. It has been humbling because I realize I do not deserve all the grace God has shown, but if I did, it wouldn't be grace.
On a more internal level, for the almost two years I've been married, I've been struggling with balance. Being a good wife is super important to me. Dealing with the reality of a demanding job in DC, being physically and mentally tired, and then having to take care for the household - well, I wasn't doing an awesome job. And that's not me being hard on myself, that's real. My prayer life had dwindled and I was spinning my wheels and going nowhere. Meanwhile, things were going undone. Then my husband and I had a heart to heart. He had concerns about bringing a baby into the mix at the time. This hurt, but it was the wake up call I needed. Being a wife is cool, but I must FIRST be a minister to God. Seeing being a wife and marriage as ministry has changed my outlook.
I've started to get that balance back. It's a work in progress. I had let my duties or my perceived priorities become an idol. Meanwhile, I was not giving God much time to speak to me or time for me to speak to Him. As a result, I wasn't doing much else as well as I could because I was doing it on my own power and not His. I have NOT arrived, but I'm letting Jesus have His seat back in my life - ALL aspects. And things are getting much better. Now, I'm doing a much better job of juggling work and the ministry of marriage.
God is LOVE. He is allowing me to mess up and rebound without letting me go. I am SO thankful. He is also showing me my rough edges - I need to forgive more quickly and let hurt go. I'm hoping to one day see myself as He does.