Tuesday, March 10, 2015

In My Opinion: The New Racism is the Old Racism



In My Opinion: The New Racism is the Old Racism
There has been a lot of commentary on race in America, but also race and the role it plays in the world at large. I can’t speak for all Black Americans or all people of color, but I can share my experience.
In my opinion, the “new” racism we are seeing play out in the media more than ever before is the same “old” racism of the past. Sure, there are new players, but it is the same game.  The gunning down of Black Americans, male and female, is nothing more but modern day lynching by firing squad. The perpetrators are not men in white sheets, but those in police blue, our neighbors, our coworkers, our friends.  And the lynchings do not always end in physical death, but sometimes the lynchings end in professional death for the victim, or even a loss of freedom. 

I personally have experienced the more covert racism – being followed around stores by salespersons while others have be left to browse and shop at their leisure. In second grade, I was singled out from my White classmates for doing the same thing, in this case, a little too much talking. I was literally snatched out of my seat and pulled into the hallway by my teacher and received a stern talking to. It stunned me and left me in tears. In the fifth grade, I had a teacher who graded me harshly and accused me of cheating on an assignment because she couldn’t believe I had produced it myself. When I moved to Maryland during the same school year, the same teacher wrote such derogatory information about me in my file that my new teacher called a conference with my mother to discuss it. She couldn’t believe it because I was not the same child my file reflected.  I ended up being put into the gifted and talented program before the year was over, and I excelled. In college, I wrote an editorial article on Lee Jackson Day and the MLK holiday. The result? I had Confederate flags plastered all over my hallway and put on my door.

Racism isn’t something people of color deal with just in adulthood. It starts to invade the sanctum of our childhood innocence from the time we can begin to comprehend that we are being treated differently – and I would venture to say, beforehand. I remember the first realization that my first best friend and I, who happened to be White, were different. Before, she was just Heather, but then I realized the fact that her skin was a lighter than mine, made us different. I didn’t understand what that difference was yet – but I understood from that day that race was a part of how a person was identified.
In elementary school, I loved learning and participating in class. I spoke very properly – probably part of speech therapy due to speech impediment I had and also due to being an advanced reader – and somewhere around second or third grade, my Black friends started calling me out on “acting White.” You may be thinking, “What?!” But I, along with many others, can probably relate to this experience. The implication is this: excelling in school and speaking properly are associated with White people. This is perception young Black children have in grade school!  Where did they get this idea? Society? Home?
In my opinion, this attitude in itself is a relic of slavery and the surrounding racism that drove it. Ever hear that saying, if you want to hide something from a Black person, hide it in a book? That may have come from slavery too – Blacks weren’t allowed to learn to read or write. Though the law is long abolished, the attitude remains. 

We all, regardless of the amount of melanin we are blessed to have in our skin, need to attack these attitudes and educate our young.  Blackness or lack thereof, should never be a litmus test for character OR intelligence. In my case, it is likely my ancestors were slaves. It is also equally likely that some of my ancestors were the slaveholders, regardless of their race. It is also likely my ancestors were kings or queens. These things may have resulted in my skin color and are a part of my makeup, but they do not define my intelligence, my character, my strength, nor my weakness as a human being.  

In my opinion, we need to stop being afraid of one another. We need to take down the mystique.  I am not the hypersexual Jezebel, I am not a Mamie, I am not the angry Black woman, I am not the video vixen, I am not Super Negro.  I bleed red. I love. I hurt. I cry. I laugh. I joke. I play. I work hard. I get frustrated.  And I get upset that no matter how many degrees I get, how hard I work, how many books I write – right now in this society, many of these things will be judged based upon the color of my skin and not just upon the fact that I’m Tiffany.

Change starts here. It starts with us. All of us. Racism is not dead. We can either deal the death blow or continue to feed it.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Rough Edges and Movements of God

Hi! This is the first bit of new content I've posted in awhile. There's been a lot going on in my life - good things, but it has not been without challenges!

So, let's start from the beginning - my husband and I bought a house in October.  It needed renovations and those began later that month. We thought we'd be in the house by Christmas. Not so much. We were in by January. The adventures in home ownership didn't end there. I read something this morning from Heather Lindsey that to paraphrase, said things get rough when God is about to bless you. You'll be challenged.

True words. The house had been vacant for some time, so there were citations and stuff that would have added up to about $1,000. Money we didn't have after buying a house. But God! People were kind who didn't have to be and only about $100 ended up coming out of my pockets when it was said and done. Then there was the running out of heating oil, replacing things in the old house... yet God did it all. It has been humbling because I realize I do not deserve all the grace God has shown, but if I did, it wouldn't be grace.

On a more internal level, for the almost two years I've been married, I've been struggling with balance. Being a good wife is super important to me. Dealing with the reality of a demanding job in DC,  being physically and mentally tired,  and then having to take care for the household - well, I wasn't doing an awesome job. And that's not me being hard on myself, that's real. My prayer life had dwindled and I was spinning my wheels and going nowhere. Meanwhile, things were going undone. Then my husband and I had a heart to heart. He had concerns about bringing a baby into the mix at the time. This hurt, but it was the wake up call I needed. Being a wife is cool, but I must FIRST be a minister to God. Seeing being a wife and marriage as ministry has changed my outlook.

I've started to get that balance back. It's a work in progress. I had let my duties or my perceived priorities become an idol.  Meanwhile, I was not giving God much time to speak to me or time for me to speak to Him. As a result, I wasn't doing much else as well as I could because I was doing it on my own power and not His. I have NOT arrived, but I'm letting Jesus have His seat back in my life - ALL aspects. And things are getting much better. Now, I'm doing a much better job of juggling work and the ministry of marriage.

God is LOVE. He is allowing me to mess up and rebound without letting me go. I am SO thankful. He is also showing me my rough edges  - I need to forgive more quickly and let hurt go. I'm hoping to one day see myself as He does.