First Christmas As Three

This Christmas was our first as parents. Last year, I was pretty well into my pregnancy (about 30 some odd weeks), but while Kyrie was present, this was his first outside of the womb. Anyway, it came and went quickly. Kyrie was more interested in playing with the bulbs on the tree than opening presents and my husband was preoccupied with starting breakfast. I am the one who really loves Christmas, so you can imagine how all this had me feeling.🤣 But in the midst of all that, I realize now how blessed I am. I have everything I ever asked for from the Lord. We even had gifts for our son under that tree (shout out to the grandparents, y'all the real MVPs on that one).

This year has been one of firsts and it's been one of shaking and change in my world, but it's been beautiful, even in the midst if some struggles. I have grown as a woman and I'm ever growing as a mom. This by far is the hardest, most rewarding thing I've ever undertaken. My son's energy and joy inspire me (and reminds me I'm 35 sometimes, LOL). I am so thankful for this life I live by faith. Happy Holidays to you and blessings.

Extra! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

As a new parent, I know some veteran parents may think I'm "extra". Extra protective, extra particular about who my child is around, extra concerned about his diet, maybe even extra concerned about how he looks when he leaves the house. To that, I say, hindsight is 20/20, but all but the last thing on that list can have long term effects on my child. How do I know? Because of my own experiences as a child.

I was molested and exposed to pornography around the age of 3 or 4. It was by older kids and we didn't have adult supervision. Our parents/guardians would send us off to play, not knowing we were repeatedly being exposed to graphic images and being forced to reenact them. Then, I was threatened with harm if I told anyone.

I know as a Christian, I should not operate in fear. However, I think being conscious of who my child is around and yes, not letting any and everyone handle my baby is not fear (or acting funny), but wisdom in my opinion. There are so many children who never had the horrible experiences I did. I'm just trying to make sure the cycle is broken with my children, in every way possible. Abuse/molestation was generational is my family.

At the end of the day, I know I can't protect my child from everything. However, I have to use hard earned wisdom or I'd be a fool. I do not operate under the assumption that family or close family friends are safe. I wish I could, but abusers are often people your child knows well and trusts. So that means, I do not discriminate. I'm particular with EVERY. ONE.

What is my point? Your child is your child. God gave them to you to instruct, protect, and rear into responsible, God-fearing people. People will judge and misunderstand you ALL. DAY. LONG. Could you be extra? Maybe. But you are your child's parent, those people are not. You are responsible for your child's well-being, they are not. There is no manual, but life teaches lessons and each parent has to learn theirs. You do what you are comfortable with as a parent. I am learning to stand on that each day. Blessings!

Balance

It's been awhile and I will say, this has been a particularly chaotic (at least to me) season in my life. As you all know, I'm a new mom (I still consider having a 10 month old new) and balancing that with life as a working professional, a wife, and even a friend and daughter, has been rough. On many fronts (maybe all of them to be honest) I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. Like literally, Jesus is the thread, I'm hanging on for dear life, and I feel like my grip is slipping on many days. I prayed to be a mom, but I did not comprehend how hard it would be to juggle all the other stuff. Add to that dealing with the intersection of all those other things - work, family, friendship, and being a Christian who genuinely strives to live right - man...it's bananas.

Lord, I prayed that You would bring order to my life, but I'm learning that you answering my prayer may look like things falling apart in the natural. So, Lord, I thank you for my life falling into place even though I want to hide in a cave until the dust settles. I'm praying for the balance in my life that will help me to be a better Christian, wife, mother, friend, and daughter.