Ministry - It Starts at Home

In these blogs, I want to be positive, but at the same time, I really want to be transparent as well. I don't know who will stumble upon this, who will share it, who will read it if I repost to social media - I just really hope that someone will get something or learn something from my experiences. I hope you will be encouraged or maybe even convicted because I think that's necessary too.

I'll start this off with a conversation I had with my husband. We were talking and one thing that we've been doing is looking for a new home. I'm feeling that biological clock ticking and I really want to start a family soon. The plan was we get a new (larger) home and we can start expanding. Well, we haven't been having a ton of luck and my question to my husband was - if we take another year, are we going to wait that long to start trying? I'm not worried about IF I'll have a child, but we have no way of knowing how long it will take. So, shelve that for a moment. He and I talked about a lot of other deep things, but the conversation landed back on our household.

Our discussion was a wake up call. In doing this, that, and the other - I was also letting some other important things go too. He has been picking up the slack, but how much more would he have to do once I get pregnant and I'm not physically able to do some things at some point?

I'm learning, being a wife is so much more than just getting married. When you become a wife, you are still all the things you were before you took on this new role. You are still a child a God, Jesus' disciple, and all the stuff that comes with it. You are still a sister, a daughter, and a friend. But now, it's no longer just you or your time. "I" becomes "our" and "you" becomes "we."

Let's go to some scripture: 1 Timothy 3:1 -5 with the focus on verses 4 and 5
1Ti 3:1 . This [is] a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Ti 3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Now, the scripture refers to man, but as we know, women can also be bishops or overseers. A practical application is that while the male is the head of the household, the woman is typically the one that "supervises" the house. She makes sure everyone in the household is taken care of, there is food in the refrigerator, people have eaten and eaten a good meal, everyone has gone to appropriate doctor's appointments, etc. The Greek word for bishop or the translation for "office of a bishop" is episkope which means inspection (for relief); by implication, superintendence; specially, the Christian "episcopate". KJV: the office of a "bishop", bishoprick, visitation. So while the man is the head and Jesus is the head over all - it is often (but not always) the woman that is making sure everything is running smoothly.

Another example is the lion and the lioness. The lion is the head of the pride, but the lioness is the hunter and also a defender. The lion watches the pride, but the lionesses are key to its function.

Here is another scripture: 1 Timothy 3:8-12 (with the focus on verse 12)

1Ti 3:8 . Likewise [must] the deacons [be] grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

1Ti 3:9 Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

1Ti 3:10 And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being [found] blameless.

1Ti 3:11 Even so [must their] wives [be] grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

1Ti 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Again, a deacon must rule their children and their own houses well. Same as that of an bishop.




The Greek word for a deacon is diakonos probably from an obsolete diako (to run on errands; compare G1377); an attendant, i.e. (genitive case) a waiter (at table or in other menial duties); specially, a Christian teacher and pastor (technically, a deacon or deaconess). KJV: deacon, minister, servant.



See a theme? When I got saved and as I learned more about what it means to be a leader, I did not and do not aspire to pastor. I will however, do whatever God asks me to do. What I and I think many of us didn't realize, is that, when we get married and form a family, we are doing just that! We are all ministers, we are all servants of the Lord Jesus Christ, but guess what? As wives, we also become overseers and deaconesses, even if it is just in our own homes. This is no less important than being in front of a congregation. In fact, scripture states that both an overseer and a deacon must have a good handle on their home first. Now that my eyes are open, I am going to work at it. I hope this helped someone because it helped me. Now that I know, I am without excuse. Let's pray and support one another ladies (and men for that matter!). The Holy Spirit is continuously working in all of us, bringing us to the maturity of Christ.

Ugh, Feelings (Getting Real)

Anyone who really knows me will tell you I'm a softie. In general, I love people and when given the opportunity or if I just feel the urge, I enjoy reminding my friends and those close to me how awesome they are, why they're awesome and that they are special. However, while I know that positive about myself, I also often ignore the negative as often as I can - I try to do that for other people because I struggle with it. It's getting better, but I'm not great with dealing with negative emotion - offense, hurt, pain, discomfort. I would rather swallow it and try to digest it on my own rather than deal with it. I'd rather go cry or fuss to God about it than look a person in the face and say, "You hurt my feelings." I don't know why it's so hard.

I feel myself avoiding saying what the root is - I'll say everything else,but the truth is, my feelings hurt. But I don't want to say that because that makes me vulnerable, I don't want the other person to feel bad (especially when I know there was no mal intent), and I feel like I should just deal with it myself and be cool. Of course, none of this is healthy. The reality is, it's ok to admit openly you are hurt. And my feelings are valid. I'm still learning that - my feelings are valid. In not dealing, one risks carrying offense, that can become bitterness, and once that takes root - that's where YOU then err. The other person is going about their business happy and chilling, and you somewhere feeling some type of way. Then, if you talk about it later (maybe just me), I feel dumb because I realize I should have said something ages ago.

Yes, emotions can be deceptive. In Christianity, I do believe you should not be led by how you feel on a particular day because that could have nothing to do with what God wants you to do. I realize you worked all day, but maybe God still wants you to spend some time interceding. Your feelings could be holding up someone else's breakthrough. (That word is for me...oop!)

Here is the balance - we are human. Jesus went through emotionally too. However, we have to master it. That means calling it what it is, dealing with it, and then forgiving and letting it go. Yesterday in church, my Pastor asked us, "how would you like it if God held on to everything you ever did wrong?" We ask for forgiveness and He forgets,  never to have the matter come up again unless WE remind Him. And so, today and onward, I'll agree to deal with not only the warm and fuzzies head on, but also the Icky McNasties.

The truth is, in real life, I don't always have time to write my thoughts and feelings down to help me process the world. I have to operate in "real-time," which means I won't always get it right,  but it's imperative as I grow up naturally in life and in Christ, that I try.

To My Heavenly Father - Let's Celebrate You EVERY Day!

Dear God,

Today is recognized in this country as "Father's Day" and I wanted to recognize You, my Father above all fathers! I cannot thank you enough. As I've been going about my day, I keep thinking of different things you've done for me and I wanted to put it in words...as best I can, though I already know there are not enough words.

Thank you. Thank you loving me when I did not love myself, when I rejected myself, when I closed myself off, when I looked at what you made and thought it ugly. Thank you for loving me when I did things that probably made You cry, things that frustrated You, things that made You angry, things that made You smile, things that made You laugh, things that brought You joy. Because unlike my natural parents, you saw it ALL. There are things most people will not know, things I thought that I may never discuss with anyone but You, and through all of that - You had mercy upon me. You saved me. You held a mirror to me and continue to do so. You showed grace. You've allowed me to experience Your glory. You blessed me even when I wasn't serving You. You heard my prayers in college when I had major papers due within the next day, You gave me strength to push through situations that I know I could not have made it through without You, You even allowed me to make mistakes that would eventually lead me back into Your arms. You wake me each day and give me another chance to do better. You believe in me when I am unsure of myself. You keep my mind. You keep my heart. Thank you Abba Father! I love, appreciate, and try to reverence You each and EVERY day. Forgive if I've fallen short in any of those charges. Thank you for waking me up and giving me the opportunity to try again.

Sincerely yours,
Tiffany

And in Other News!

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It's Not About Your Feelings

This morning, I am tired. And not just physically tired, but all around tired. Like I just want to lay in bed, sleep, talk to God, sleep some more, lay there so more, and do nothing tired. I'm feeling burnt out from long days at work followed by, looking at houses,  calling about houses, seeing houses we like with contracts already on them, I'm even dreaming about houses! I know it's a problem others would like to have, but I feel the pressure of it.

I really want to find an ideal place for us to start a family and it's difficult to not feel a little discouraged because when we started this journey, I felt we could find what we wanted and needed without straining ourselves financially. I'm trying to hold on to faith regarding that. I don't want to become so consumed with this process that other things fall by the wayside.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how I feel. I still have to press into the things of God and also keep up with the natural demands of life. No matter what's going on or how we feel, we've got to keep it moving!