I have been trying to avoid it since I found out yesterday afternoon - my grandma has cancer. And while I am not surprised, it is upsetting. Health wise, she's been declining steadily for years and she recently was in the hospital for a few days. I saw her and my great grandma in October and my grandma was really frail. Her mom was actually doing pretty well.
Now with this news, my natural mind is sad and preparing for the worse. I don't know if I even want her to try to "fight" this. She's been in pain for a long time now. Chemo and radiation do terrible things to the body. But really, I want her to really think about what she wants and voice her opinion to the doctors. Don't get me wrong, selfish me wants my grandma to see my son grow up and live for many more years. Now, I just want her to see him born. But the truth of all of this is, what is God's will? I can pray, but if He says it's time...i have to let go and trust.
And to add, my great grandma, who's been in good health up until now has stopped eating and drinking. My family hasn't told her what's going on with her daughter, but I firmly believes she knows something is wrong. My great grandma has the Holy Spirit who knows all things - they don't understand that they're not protecting her by keeping this from her.
So at once, I'm experiencing great joy with this child I always wanted and coping with sadness at what's to come with some of the women who helped shape me. Who loved me when I didn't think anyone else did.
No comments:
Post a Comment