There has been so much change in my life over the past few months and I have changed so much...I barely recognize myself. I became a mother and this little boy showed me a whole 'nother side of love. He is beautiful and happy and good natured. Nursing him has helped me lose about 60 pounds. I also recently lost my great grandma. I think because I had her so long and in my mind, I know she's with God, I didn't realize how hard it would be to lose her.
So, I welcomed new life and had to say goodbye to parts of who I was. And this stripping has been so hard. I'm trying to figure out who this new woman is. This woman, no longer a girl, not just a wife, but now a mother. How do I balance it all? I'm also preparing to go back to work too. I took it for granted that women just do all this stuff, but never considered the heart wrenching decisions and worries that come with it.
I'm just at the place where I must trust God. Because of my past, I see that I have trouble with trust due to so much disappointment. God has never disappointed me, but I had been hanging on to the anxiety that comes from lack of trust or stability. Now, more change is occurring, more digging, and I must trust the process.
No comments:
Post a Comment