Yesterday evening, I watched one of my friends get married and it was beautiful. And it was meaningful for a lot of reasons. I really admire this friend and her life because she really loves God and she was patient and she went about things the right way and God did it. She was beautiful, the event was beautiful, and just seeing the look on her face as she danced with her new husband or even her looking for him, asking "Where's my husband?" was pretty awesome. It made me want to experience those things...one day.
This is the second marriage I've seen in the last 12 months and all the pairing up and in some cases, breaking up, has got me thinking more about relationships and marriage. I have a lot of conflicting emotions about marriage. Even though I have seen how beautiful it can be, I'm still scared to death. I have learned a lot from watching the lives of my girlfriends, saved and not. I have seen my pastors and their interactions. I have seen couples in my church. And I've taken it all in. I listen to conversations about marriage to glean some wisdom. The reality is - marriage is a lot of work. It means being completely vulnerable to another person. It means not getting to do what you want to do anymore, but having to consider another person. It means that I may not be able to worship at midnight because my husband may want to sleep. It means having to forgive constantly and I mean, really forget something ever happened. It also means having a partner, your best friend with you all the time (because my hubby, whoever he is, is going to be my best friend besides Jesus, of course). It means having someone to hug when you've had a bad day or a shoulder to cry on when it seems like this walk is just too tough. And it's those things that make me very interested in marriage, the majority of the time. That being said, YES, I also miss the physical stuff too. But overall, I can honestly say, it really is the companionship and the being each other's cheerleader I really miss. At this point in my life, while I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for marriage, I believe I am so much more stable and ready to be someone's helpmate. I am a better woman, the best I can ever remember being. I am nurturing and loving, more so than I can remember ever being. I feel, no, I know that I owe that all to being in Christ.
So, this is to my future husband:
Dear ________________,
Thank you for being the man that God intended for me. God has always known exactly what the deal really was, even if I would not admit to any person, so I know He selected you especially for me. I am thankful that you are someone who loves Jesus. Even when I was not living a saved life, it was important to me that whoever I was with, loved God. I am thankful that because you love My Father, you also love me. I pray that you abound in the Father's love for me, that you watch over me and protect me as Christ does His church. I know it is a tall order, but if you can get the revelation of God's love for you, loving me will be light work. ;-) I am complex, but in God's manifold wisdom, He has given me my perfect match. I love that we can laugh together and that you understand my jokes. I love how you look at me. I love your smile. I even love how you smell. I love how you love my cooking. I love watching you. I think you're pretty awesome and I like how you think I'm pretty awesome too. I love how we can talk for a long time about everything and nothing or just be with each other in silence and not feel awkward. I am thankful that you showed me that on the other side of all the hurt and heartbreak, there really is someone just right. Thank you for helping me appreciate all the bad stuff because now, I can revel in how wonderful this is, we are. Most of all, I thank God that I did not try to "make" us happen, but I let Him take the time to prepare me and you first.
Whoever this guy is...he's going to be pretty great because God's phenomenal. I'm excited to see what happens in the maybe not so distant future.
I had tears in my eyes reading this, for obvious reasons! :0) Knowing that GOD DID IT and is DOING IT is the most important thing of all! I've never felt so vulnerable, so open and so...accepted! It's a pretty big deal. It's not something that needs to be rushed into. Trust me! When God does it, it'll be the right time! Whenever that is!
ReplyDeleteOH and if your husband wants to sleep at midnight, but you want to worship...find another corner of the house to worship in. Close the door to the bedroom. Work it out...those are the moments where marriage is most trying! When there is a LIFE change! I mean, being "with" someone all the time is easy. Living with someone, in and of itself can be a breeze. But figuring out how to adjust to changes like that (you wanna worship, he wants to sleep) is where you really see how you both have to work on it and make compromises! But...I'm only 1.5 months into it, so... don't take my word for it! :)
:-)
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