The Joy of My Salvation

It's been a little while since I've updated and I've had this scripture swirling around in my head for a little while. I finally decided to look it up and get the exact wording:

Psa 51:12 (KJV)
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me [with thy] free spirit.

and another related one:

Hab 3:18 (KJV)
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

If you've seen the movie "Brown Sugar", Sanaa Lathan's character asks, "When did you fall in love with hip hop?" I want to pose that same question to Christians. When did you fall in love with Jesus? Do you remember what it was like?

I remember clearly when I fell in love. I was at church and the pastor gave those in the congregation an opportunity to give their life to the Lord. And I stood up and went up to the front. He asked me if I was sure and I felt such an urgency, but also a calm about it. I was sure. And my life changed forever. Before that, I knew of Jesus. I wanted to know more. But when I finally started to establish a relationship, I fell in love quickly. I could have had the worst night sleep ever, but I woke up with a peace and a joy that is hard to explain. I can liken it to falling in love in the natural sense, but it's so much better. There is a peace in this relationship. There's not the anxiety of "will he still like me if I do or don't do xyz?" It is truly awesome. Being drunk in the spirit is far better than any kind of alcohol on the shelves. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you betta ask somebody!

I was on cloud nine for weeks. And then, as time goes on, the high wears off and the reality of "yes" begins to present itself. Jesus is still as awesome as the day you fell in love, but this thing becomes real. The fact that your life is and must be different becomes evident. Sometimes challenges come. You begin to go through growing pains. The expression "born again" is actually appropriate. You feel like a child again. You have to learn virtually everything all over. All that was established in you has to be torn up and reconstructed. The foundation has to be laid anew. And this is hard. I am personally going through that right now.

I am discovering that I am very stubborn. Some things were relatively easy for me to give over to God and let Him do His thing. Other things, not so much. Letting God dig up those sewage tanks inside of you is painful and stinky. LOL. He begins to expose those things that are funky and need to be removed, cleansed, and healed. You feel like naked, like every thing is magnified. I think this is probably normal. I also believe that while some people can sense you're going through something, that God covers you. I am writing this as much for myself as for anyone else who may read - let Him pour that peroxide on your wounds. Yes it stings and it some cases, it even stinks :-), but you've got to let Him clean you out. He loves us. He wants us to be complete in Him. He wants us to be comfortable in our own skin and He wants us to appreciate that each of us is His very own unique creation. Not one of us was a mistake. Not one.

Rediscover that joy in the midst of your growing pains. Pray about it. God never stopped being God. The joy doesn't have to stop. Be blessed and know that you are not alone.